We all know that new moms need all the love and support that they can get. However, we do not talk enough about the reality of having a baby, and this needs to change. Instead of telling new moms about all the things they should be doing or not, we should be offering them support to be the best moms they can be to their children. Many aspects come into play when it comes to women supporting other women. Still, I feel like one of the most important is having a community, you can rely on in all instances, especially during the first stages of motherhood.
Over the years of being a mom and witnessing people around me have children, here are 5 intentional support tips I have found to go a long way.
Ask Them What They Need.
This looks like an obvious choice, but not many get it. As a new mom, I had people doing everything but not what I actually needed. I know I should have asked, but with the muddle of learning how to parent, I just did not have the strength to do so. Asking a new mom what they need gets you an actual answer, so you do not have to keep guessing. This may include simple grocery runs, a nap, a walk for fresh air, and so on.
Bring Food!!!
You can never go wrong with food. New moms are tired all the time, and taking this load off their backs can be a blessing. During the fourth trimester, I did not have a house help or nanny; therefore, anyone who visited with food automatically became my favorite person. I try to do the same for my new mom friends or just go over and cook their favorite meals for them.
Words of Affirmation
Motherhood comes with many challenging moments, but sending them words of affirmation every now and then and affirming the great job they are doing can mean a lot. If this is not their love language, learn what it is and do it because some moms would prefer flowers, and that is equally okay.
Have Real Conversations with Them.
People tend to avoid conversations with moms about life as a new mom. I appreciated friends who got real with me by asking the hard questions such as how I was really feeling, if I was healing well, how my first bathroom attempt was, you know, the reality of it all. Talking it out brings new insights but also, while at it, do not offer unsolicited advice unless when asked.
Do not avoid them or focus all the attention on the baby.
If your close friend has a baby, do not isolate her. It is great to want to see and hold the baby, but new moms also need the attention. My friends came through for me, even with the simplest activities like watching a movie together or just talking for hours.
Cheers to new mommies (and their community) 🥂
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